Interview question
How to answer “How do you handle conflict?”
Answer with one real disagreement from your work. Say what it was about in a sentence, what you said to the other person, and what changed. Keep it calm, own your part, and talk about the problem, never the person.
What the interviewer is checking
Even when it's asked in general terms, interviewers want one example. Kentucky's state personnel office, in its list of interview questions, follows it with “Please give me an example.”
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A real example
Workable's guide for interviewers says generic answers that don't describe a specific situation tell them little about how you handle conflict.
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Whether you blame
The same guide calls blaming others and bad-mouthing coworkers, managers or clients unprofessional. In a CareerBuilder survey, 48% of hiring managers called negative talk about an employer an instant deal breaker.
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Whether you mended it
LinkedIn's guide for hiring managers says to listen for whether you tried to see the other person's side and improve the relationship.
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Whether you speak up
Workable also lists avoiding conflict altogether as a red flag, and says candidates should be able to disagree tactfully with coworkers or managers when needed.
Build your answer in three parts
- 1
What it was about
One sentence on what you disagreed about. Keep it about the work.
- 2
What you said and did
The words you used when you talked to them directly, and what you learned when you asked how they saw it.
- 3
What changed
What you agreed, how it turned out for the work, and how you work together now.
It also comes as “Tell me about a conflict with a coworker,” “Describe a time you disagreed with your manager” or “How do you handle disagreements on a team? Give an example.” The same three parts answer all of them. One question on the University of Virginia's HR list asks for “the specific words you used,” so be ready to say yours.
What rates higher. OPM's sample rating scale for dealing with difficult people puts restoring a working relationship between angry coworkers in the middle. Finding goals both sides share rates higher, and calming a heated meeting by showing you understand people's concerns rates as expert.
What to say, and what not to
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Pick a real disagreement
SayA difference over the work, like a deadline, a method or who owned a task.
Don't say“I get along with everyone.” It sounds like you avoid conflict.
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Talk about the work
Say“We disagreed about [the approach], and it was holding up [the work].”
Don't say“She was lazy,” or “He was impossible to work with.”
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Go to the person
Say“I asked to talk one on one and started by asking how they saw it.”
Don't say“I let it go and hoped it would pass.”
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End on what changed
SayWhat you decided together, what it did for the work, and what you do differently now.
Don't say“Anyway, we got past it.” Say how.
What not to say in an interview, and the red flags it sends →
If a conflict with your manager is why you're leaving, see reasons for leaving a job →
Sample answers
Put in your own facts and say it out loud until it sounds like you. CareerOneStop tells job seekers to focus on a positive result and how they were part of the solution.
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WITH A COWORKER
“On [project] at [type of company], a coworker and I disagreed about [the approach], and it was holding up [the work]. I asked to talk one on one and started by asking how they saw it. They were worried about [their concern], which I hadn't thought about. We agreed to [the plan], and it [result, with a number]. Now I raise a disagreement like that in the first week instead of letting it sit.”
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WITH YOUR MANAGER
“My manager wanted to [plan], and I thought it would [the risk]. I asked for fifteen minutes, showed [the numbers] and suggested [the alternative]. They kept their plan, so I committed to it fully and [what you did to make it work]. [What happened.] Since then I bring the numbers to the first conversation about a plan.”
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WITH A CUSTOMER
“A customer was upset that [the problem] and wanted [something we couldn't do]. I let them finish, repeated back what they needed and told them plainly what I could do, which was [the option]. They took it, and [the result]. I also told [the team] about [the cause], and we changed [the process] so it wouldn't happen again.”
If you manage people. Expect a question about a conflict between two people on your team. SHRM's list for leadership hires includes “Tell me about a time when you had to manage conflict between two co-workers,” and asks for the steps you took. Say how you heard each side, what you decided and how you followed up.
More behavioral interview questions, by theme →
If they ask what you would do in a conflict, see situational interview questions →
Practice your answer out loud
Type a job title and an AI hiring manager asks the kind of questions real hiring managers ask. With only a title, its first story question is about teamwork or a conflict with a coworker, and it follows up on what you leave out, like the words you used or how it ended. Another asks what you'd say to someone who has just heard news they won't like. Your scorecard flags badmouthing and blaming, with the words that raised them.
Start a free mock interviewMore to practice: Phone screen questions · Tell me about yourself · Reasons for leaving a job · Why do you want to work here? · Why are you interested in this position? · Where do you see yourself in 5 years? · Salary expectations · Questions to ask the interviewer · Hiring manager interview questions · Internal interview questions · Explaining an employment gap · Behavioral interview questions · Situational interview questions · What is your greatest accomplishment? · What are your weaknesses? · What are your strengths? · What not to say in an interview · How to answer interview questions · Why should we hire you? · Second interview questions